Creating Successful Rebound Relationships
Love Relationship Tips
The Lovers by Pierre-Auguste Renoir
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Involved in a "Rebound Relationship"?
"It will never work." "Never get serious about someone when you're on the rebound." "If you find out your date is on the rebound, RUN don't walk to the nearest exit. The odds of the two of you making it are absolutely NIL!"
Encouraging words? I think not. But that is exactly what D. and I heard from everyone we knew 13 years ago when we first started "dating". Well, it wasn't really like dating because we had been friends for years.
When both of our marriages ended at about the same time, he and I were naturally drawn to one another. Neither of us had any idea how to approach "the dating scene" after being out of circulation for so long. We couldn't imagine going to a singles bar or club and Internet Dating wasn't really around yet.
With our friendship as a solid foundation and so many things in common, (STRONG physical attraction and a wicked sense of humor were high on the list) we embarked on our romantic relationship almost immediately.
When we moved in together "helpful" friends and family were very concerned.
I won't say that we haven't had our ups and downs over the years what with kids, damaging business partners, awkward Ex's and financial challenges. But we have emerged triumphant (D. proposed to me last May!) and expect to continue our fairy tale romance for another 100 years at least!
I believe there were several factors that helped us beat the odds (aside from our sparkling personalities and delightful sexual compatibility).
Lovers by Antonio Canova
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Our Successful Rebound Relationships Tips:
- We were already friends. Having an established friendship was a very good thing. We had a comfort level and rapport already established. Adding love and sex to that was natural (and exciting!)
- We were determined to "do it right this time". We wanted to learn from our mistakes. Early on in our relationship we realized how we had contributed to the failure of our marriages. This allowed us to focus on ways to avoid creating the same problems all over again.
- We left our previous relationships largely OUT of the equation. We tried to keep the "ragging about my Ex" stuff to a bare minimum. Focusing on all that negativity was never beneficial to our own relationship.
- We wanted to create the best love relationship that we'd ever seen. Being passionate about creating something is a powerfully positive tool. We would point out old couples enjoying each other and say, "Look at them, we'll still be JUST as in love as they are when we are that age!"
- We intentionally focused mainly on the things we loved about each other. When we noticed something that did not please us about the other, we shifted our attention elsewhere, whenever possible. We found that the more we noticed wonderful things about each other, the more wonderful things there were to notice.
- When one of us was upset about something we would talk about it immediately. There's a lot to be said for COMMUNICATION. D. was a master at noticing something was going on with me (sometimes before I did) and suggesting that we talk about it. "Nip it in the bud!"
- We genuinely appreciated each other and mentioned it often. Appreciation of one another and the life we were building together was paramount. Expressing your appreciation not only makes your partner feel great, it helps you feel better too!
- We laughed, and laughed and LAUGHED. LIGHTEN UP! And remember that everything will all work out in the end. (Have you noticed that it always does, somehow?) All IS Well!
My Final Successful Rebound Relationships Words of Wisdom
When the nay-sayers gather round you and proclaim that your new rebound relationship is destined to crash and burn, just smile sweetly, thank them sincerely and go create the life and love of your dreams!
I hope that this has helped to encourage you toward your own successful rebound relationships! Believe me, if we can do it, YOU can do it!
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