Romance Tips for Your Love Relationship

Ways to Increase Your Romantic Compatibility

It is completely up to you to decide just how romantic your love relationship is going to be. Yes, YOU!

Being “in love” is good for us. Have you noticed when you are newly in love, just about everything in our lives gets better? Not just our love relationships. Everything! Why is that? When we direct most of our attention to feeling the breathless excitement and exhilaration of a new passion, our positive, uplifted outlook can't help but roll over into the rest of our lives. The more we focus on everything that is wonderful, the broader and more delicious the effects will be. When you give your attention to something in your love relationship, be it positive or negative, it will get bigger.

Wedded by Frederick Leighton 18x24 Giclee Buy Romantic Art from Art.com

Lovers by a Fountain by Modesto Faustini 18x24 Giclee Buy Romantic Art from Art.com

Conversely, it can make your love relationship rather unpleasant too. What to do? If you want to shift what you are experiencing, then you will need to adjust your focus. It is best and infinitely more effective to do this slowly, bit by bit. Trying to make an extreme change in your viewpoint is likely to be insincere and temporary. Stop keeping score and stop obsessing over that which you do not like. A good way to start the positive shift is by trying to find a thought that feels better than the one you have been thinking.

For example: Let's say that you have been noticing that your mate doesn't kiss you as often as you might like. The more you notice them not kissing you, the less you are kissed.

Perhaps you've mentioned it to them and maybe they have even agreed to try to remember to kiss you more often. But the kisses just aren't materializing and you REALLY notice the absence of them.

Your focus is effectively creating more of what you do not want.

So you need to come up with a thought that feels better than “My mate never kisses me anymore.”

The progression could go something like this:

• 1. My mate never kisses me anymore.
• 2. My mate doesn't kiss me as often as I'd like.
• 3. My mate doesn't kiss me as often as I'd like but they hug me every now and then.
• 4. My mate hugs me every now and then and sometimes smiles at me when we pass in the hallway.
• 5. My mate hugs me and usually smiles at me when we pass in the hallway.
• 6. My mate hugs me and smiles at me. I know my mate cares about me.
• 7. My unbelievably attractive and caring and devoted mate hugs me, smiles at me, takes out the garbage without being asked, cleans the toilet and brings home chocolate regularly.

Our emotions are indicators of the kinds of things that we are focusing upon. When we feel good, happy, joyful, positive, exhilarated, giddy, fabulous, it's because we are focusing on things that please us. We resonate, approve, appreciate, love what we see and our emotions confirm it for us. When we feel bad, resentful, angry, sad, annoyed, negative, grumpy, lousy, it's because we are focusing on things that displease us. We judge, fear, disapprove, hate what we see and our emotions confirm it for us. Yes, it's really that simple!

The Lovers' Tiff, 1872 by Paolo Mei 18x24 Giclee Buy Romantic Art from Art.com

GOOD NEWS FOR LOVE RELATIONSHIPS!

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We can react to something we find negative by softening our focus on it, by noticing the positive aspects of it, or by changing our focus entirely to something that pleases us.

(This is not looking at something you find negative and pretending that it's not negative. This is merely shifting your gaze away from what you find negative and focusing on something you find more pleasing.)

Remember, you get to choose! So BE SELECTIVE!

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When you can do this, the negative thing will NOT get bigger and may even begin to go away. Either way, we have short circuited the downward slide that we sometimes find ourselves on by making this shift. Checking in with our emotions tells us if we have succeeded. Practice! Practice! Practice! The more familiar you are with what it feels like to make a shift like this; the more often you will be able to keep yourself in the good feeling places. Do not underestimate the value of this habit when it comes to your love relationship!

Try practicing on things that you don't care too much about: the granny in the fast lane, the unbelievably slow internet connection, the weather.

Practice changing your perspective. Practice finding things to appreciate. Practice shrugging off minor annoyances. Practice laughing unconditionally at every opportunity. Practice finding the things in any person or situation that make you feel good and really get acquainted with those thoughts and feelings. Collect them, if you will.

The Lovers by Cesare Detti 12x16 Giclee Buy Romantic Art from Art.com

Make a point of becoming familiar with your joys and you WILL experience more of them!

In your love relationship:

If one part of your relationship is displeasing, you know it is time to focus on another part of it.

Trust in the certainty that all is well between you and your beloved and that your relationship is growing and unfolding perfectly.

Feel the magic of optimism. Pessimism and focus-on-what-is-not-wanted yields nothing of any value to the flowering of your love relationship.

Soon you will notice that you must be living a charmed life; lights turn green, parking places materialize, you meet the friendliest people…

AND your mate just can't stop kissing you!

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